Blog – Page 13 – Presently

Spiritual Growth [Part 1]: I cant tell if it’s getting lighter or darker

Adam Rechenmacher Church History, Prayer, Spiritual Formation

I wanted to spend a few weeks going a little more in depth into the theories of Spiritual Growth in order to spur on conversation and possible new thought experiments. Typically there has been a general consensus of telos, but the nature of growth has been much more debated. In the twentieth century mystical writer Evelyn Underhill “reopened a longstanding medieval dispute: Does mystical union consist in a cognitive experience conditioned by love of God… or is it a “dark” experience of the will and the inner affections.”* What Evelyn brings up is probably the most hotly debated topic among those of the nature of spiritual growth. As one moves closer to God, is there an increasing amount of holy light or is there a decreasing amount of light into complete holy darkness?

This debate first started as early as the fourth century. Gregory of Nyssa, the greatest mystical writers of Cappadocian Fathers, differed from his predecessor, Origen. “Origen emphasizes a movement of increasing light; the soul moves from darkness to light and then on to greater light. For Gregory, however, the journey begins in light and moves toward lesser light and then into darkness.”

This “way of darkness” was, in short time, repeated by Evagrius, who stressed the way of darkness as necessary to contemplate God, and calls it “pure prayer.” Pseudo-Dionysius championed Gregory of Nyssa’s views and firmly planted it into the theology of the church for years to come. His apophatic writings are clearly argued in The Mystical Theology. He states, since the intellect and the senses are so limited ”we must leave all created things behind and find God in the darkness.”

The apophatic teachers in Gregory of Nyssa and Pseudo-Dionysius’ camp make a very compelling argument. How can we relate to a God who is completely above everything we could ever perceive? But in the other camp, writers like John Gerson, Bernard of Clairvaux, and St. Bonaventure offer equally compelling arguments. They suggest that as one is more purified and more illuminated they are closer to Light and Love. How could one move toward He who is Love and Light and not be surrounded by it. Bernard writes “It is characteristic of true and pure contemplation that when the mind is ardently aglow with God’s love, it is sometimes so filled with zeal and the desire to gather to God those who will love him with equal abandon…”

What do you think? What has been your experience as your prayer and experience of God has matured?
If you’re looking for someone to talk to about your experiences: Learn More About Personal Spiritual Direction here.

*a full list of reference text is available upon request

Adventures in Poetry [Part 4]: A Training

Adam Rechenmacher Poetry, Spiritual Disciplines

What can be said about our five senses;
that leaves us More defined,
More constricted
More limited.
I care More about the often unused sense
the sense that detects love
loves good, and
loves well.
I will make this the king over all my other senses;
He will become the coach to the five on the field.
He will lead the drills,
and they will feel the sweat on their brow.

My ears will spend their time in silence,
in quietness they will grow,
learning patience as well as eagerness.
They will dream of sounds, both
foreign and
familiar;
Notes running melodies on eighths
and carefully leaping from halves to wholes.
Their desire for constant arousal will fade,
Their ecstasy will be respectful satisfaction.

My eyes have already tasted from the
tree of knowledge of good and evil,
so now they must spend the rest of their days
buried in the scrolls of wisdom;
Being educated in discernment.
They will study the sensitivity of subtlety, and
significance of circumstance
from the eyes who went before,
now tragically gouged out.
In beauty they will become gluttonous
in corruption they will choose ignorance.
The world will become black and white,
but ever so filled with marvelous colors.

My tongue will learn the life of virtue and nobility,
acquainted with simplicity and even indulgence
but weary of the brothers “over” and “under.”
He will dine at the King’s table and get drunk from flavors and spices
yet not taste a drop of entitlement.
Today he will eat as the Father does in Heaven,
Tomorrow he will eat with the Son in sorrow,
The day after he will eat with Paul, content in all things.

My passive little nose will certainly need training as well.
It is a defenseless thing that is helplessly along for the ride.
It’s submissive state has left it only one chore:
to be like a child eating a November turkey for the first time,
be curious, and
be “thanks” giving.

My feel and touch will be trained in a new job.
My fingers will no longer fing,
or whatever thing
they used to do.
Ten more tools or instruments I have
to heal the sick and ease the pain.
Five senses I possess to register this world
surely I can spare
One to help redeem it.

Yes in training they will become great,
greater than they are now.
Not greater in their original uses:
to define,
to constrict,
to limit,
But greater because they have gone beyond their original powers
to expand potential
to discover mystery
to magnify mundane
to glory in Glory.

Spiritual Direction – Formal v. Informal: Do I need a friend or do I need Professional help?

Adam Rechenmacher Church History, Spiritual Direction

Historically, spiritual direction has been offered as a ministry of the church, and those offering it were supported financially by the church as well i.e. bishops, priests, anchorites. The evolution of spiritual direction has emerged in its modern form through Individual Practices by “professionals” specifically trained in the art of listening, discernment and compassion and who have studied to some degree the science of Theology, Psychology or Sociology i.e. Seminarians, Cenobites and Pastoral Counselors. Both traditions of Spiritual Direction exist today for those who are called and gifted toward this ministry. Some choose to continue in the tradition of the “one another” ministry while others make themselves available to the wider community of the wandering “spiritual pilgrims.”

As someone who has formal training in direction as well as someone who is part of a small intimate house-church community I feel called to have both my feet firmly planted in both camps. As part of a small community that meets regularly in a house it is impossible, or at least very difficult, to not use your spiritual gifts in a “one another” ministry on a regular basis. At the same time I have studied Developmental Spirituality, Pneumatology and Sanctification at the postgraduate level and have been trained in the different facets and schools of spiritual direction under Supervision in a Practicum-structured program.

I believe both of these traditions are two expressions of the same Charismatic Gift – two sides of one coin – and both can be edifying to the Church and advance the Kingdom of God in their own way. One tradition does not offer more or less value than the other. But differences do exist and should be examined in order to appreciate their distinctions fully. There are four immediate differences I see between Spiritual Direction as a ministry of the local church (done informally in community) and Spiritual Direction as an intentional and intense focus on one’s relationship with God (done in a formal relationship with regular intervals for a distinct predetermined period of time). The obvious differences between “informal” and “formal” Spiritual Direction relate to: Defined Role, Relational Permission, Language/Discourse, and Environmental Context.

Defined Role

One of the first and most obvious distinctions between these ministries is the formality of title and status in one each other’s life. In a formal relationship, there is a Director (or Guide, or Soul Friend) and there is a Directee, or Counselee. This bit of formality can be off-putting but it can also be very helpful in drawing constructive and containing boundaries.

Language/Discourse

The next difference between a formal and an informal relationship is the sound, style and pace of the Language and Discourse. Much like any other profession, a doctor, or mechanic, or midwife, or artist will possess a set of techniques unique and available to call upon in each unique situation, so a Spiritual Director in a formal relationship will call upon certain techniques to lovingly prompt a reaction or discover movements of the Spirit in the other’s heart. In a friendship this pace would seem forced and unnatural, but allows for a Director to monitor and manage pitfalls or hurdles.

Relational Permission

Along with the differences between defined roles and language style come a set of spoken and unspoken relational permissions. In a formal relationship the directee is giving permission to the Spiritual Director to pursue him to the point of uncomfortable intimacy. These permissions are not lightly granted. In exchange for permission to ask probing questions and travel with another in their most sacred places, the Director is offering a safe relationship. He is agreeing to contain, in love, whatever unsightly pockets of the heart that may be revealed. (Sin: Anger, Fear, Unwanted Emotions, Outbursts, Transference, Projection, Accusations, Infant/Immature Expression, Demonic manifestations). These permissions should not be taken for granted in a good friendship, but are fortified within the context of two contracted parties, as there are different types of of friendships you can get, including the one you get online in sites like chatempanada.com.

Environmental Context

Along the same lines of creating an internal safe haven, among a formal direction relationship the Director is responsible for ensuring an externally safe atmosphere. This includes a space free of interruptions. Calming. Conducive. Prayerful. Prayed-Over. Anointed. The downside of this type of space is there is typically no barista to make you your favorite comfort-drink.

For most issues in life, I think we really just need a good friend to listen. But if you think you could benefit from intentionalizing a more formal relationship for a specific season of your life to discuss your spiritual journey, meeting with a trained Director may be right for you: Learn More About Personal Spiritual Direction

Punk guy looking at himself in a shattered mirror

Illusions: Growth, Change and Transformation Misconceptions

Adam Rechenmacher Illusions, Spiritual Formation, Strategies

I meet with people. I listen to their stories. I step into their space. They talk about their life – their triumphs, their failures, their loves, and their pains. They also talk about their god.

Adventures in Poetry [Part 3]: Forever Companion

Adam Rechenmacher Existential, Poetry

Forever Companion:

She has awakened a certain loneliness that has laid dormant and undisturbed.

It is a Phantom that haunts me in the quiet places.

It is not fast and does not chase me, and yet I am forever pursued.

When I stop running for a moment to catch my breath, it is upon me!

I have made great strides to eliminate the silent stalker.

I have surrounded myself with love. Not easy love-shallow and fleeting but with love withstanding, divine, covenanted, refined.

I thought I had won. How clever am I! I thought I dispelled my Forever Companion that visits me in my sleep.

“Curse you, leave me be, go back to where you came from. Why has the woman brought with her such an unwelcome guest as you?”

It Speaks:

Be still and listen to what I have to say.

Be quiet and be drawn into my embrace.

It is true that I have wounded ten-thousand but I have lost none.

My wound does not harm, it may burn, but it does not harm, and is given with a kiss.

I could be your tender lover, more satisfying than the women who provoke me.

But how poor you have treated me – never once have you offered me your cup to drink or your bed to lay.

In your desperate place you labeled me alien and called me intruder, kicked to the curb with no where to go.

You never imagined something like me, as big as the sky and as vast as the ocean could have a rightful home right here in your chest.

It is not I that haunts you, your Forever Companion, but the possibility of you.

Adventures in Poetry [Part 2]: The Unfortunate Burglar

Adam Rechenmacher Existential, Illusions, Poetry

The Unfortunate Burglar:

I am the unfortunate burglar. I take and steal, yet have acquired nothing.

I seek from others what they do not have.

I pillage from imaginary storehouses they do not own.

Any trace of confidence or contentment without magnifies a deprivation within and ignites my insatiable appetite.

In the morning I will steal your security that keeps safe from all of my deepest fears

In the noontime I will grab your affection that fills me to the brim with perfect love.

In the evening I will slip your smile into my pocket and your knowing eyes will lift me with eternal hope.

When I awake I wonder where all my treasure has gone, and begin to scheme where I can steal some more.

Adventures in Poetry [Part 1]: Seduction

Adam Rechenmacher Existential, Illusions, Prayer

Seduction:

It is an unhappy event to find a soul you would rather be with than with yourself.

Romantics have told us there is someone out there, your better half, to make you whole.

I say I am my better half and me too, together with myself I am complete.

But another part, who does not abide in me mocks me.

She says you are not whole, and I look just the right size.

The lie would kill me a thousand times and I would still lean in as if it gave life.

…Speak to me again.

NO MORE DEAD GOATS: why you’re no better than a pagan worshipper

Adam Rechenmacher Emotions, Scripture, Spiritual Formation, Strategies

When Jesus uttered the words “It is finished” that same day in a pagan temple a family brought a goat to be slaughtered, but for them there was no sense of “It is finished.” For they had brought a goat before and they would inevitably bring a goat again to be slaughtered. They loved their god and with all the best intentions wanted nothing more than to please him, and so diligently they offered exactly what the they thought he asked of them. This would end up being an ongoing ritual for the rest of their life. Years upon years of dead goats but for them there was no “it is finished,” no assurance that their god was appeased.
—
There is a story of a boy running through his house, arms stretched out wide, pretending he was an airplane. As he rounded the first and second corner he knew he could fly faster if he was only able to cut the corners a little tighter. Approaching the corner of hallway he calculated out the best flight path. But this time he cut it too close and clipped a picture hanging on the wall. The picture fell to the ground and broke it’s frame. This was his parents’ favorite picture. His first instinct was to sweep up the broken glass and hide the picture. “Maybe they wouldn’t recognize it was missing,” he thought. The feeling of guilt was overwhelming him. “Of course they’re going to notice it’s gone” he convinced himself. He needed a new plan. He would take all of his savings out of his piggy bank and buy them a new frame, and if that wasn’t enough he would do extra chores around the house. He would mow the lawn for a month, he would do the dishes for the next two months. Before his parents even had time to notice anything had even happened, let alone respond with loving grace, their little boy who they loved more than anything had thoroughly punished himself, heaping on self-condemnation.
—
All of us are, to some degree, just like that little child with God. When we do something wrong, or when we slip back into that all too familiar sin, our first instinct is to hide. Without thinking we grab the broom and start sweeping up the broken glass, and hope God doesn’t notice. But then the guilt starts to overwhelm, it eats at us. “Of course he’ll notice, he notices everything.” So then we must take more drastic measures into our own hands. We must repay him somehow. We must do something to show him how sorry we really are. “I’ll give more money or volunteer more. I won’t take part in Church activities for awhile. I know what He’s thinking, I should probably hold off on the “Jesus stuff” until I have my act together. I’ll save him the breath, I already know what he thinks of me; I’ve let him down once again and I’ve REALLY disappointed Him this time.” Before we even approach God, we have already thoroughly punished ourselves. We have served a sentence, God never condemned us to.
Today let us hear the words afresh: “It is finished.” The guilt that we heap on ourselves, the hiding and the shame, the paying-God-back with good behavior – aren’t those all just modern day forms of sacrifices they used to bring to the pagan temples. Aren’t these things really just more dead goats? Can you reflect on the cross and lovingly gaze on your Jesus who gave everything for you? Consider what are some of the ways you punish yourself so that God doesn’t have to. What are the ways you try to pay God back? What are the ways that you hide your sin from Him? What are your sacrifices, your dead goats? And can we hear him say, “I don’t want any more dead goats. I don’t want you to punish yourself with guilt, and hiding, and repayment. I love you and want you to run to me.”

So You’re Entering a Dark Night: How to respond to God’s silent treatment. [Part 3]

Adam Rechenmacher Dryness, Prayer, Spiritual Direction, Spiritual Formation

In the final post of my 3-part “Dear St. John” letter, I wanted to actually give some helpful practical advice. There is a lot written about what we’re not supposed to do (ie. don’t do, just be, etc.) I wanted to give some encouragement of helpful ways to “be” in a dark night.

So You’re Entering a Dark Night: Don’t be God’s crazy girlfriend. [Part 2]